I’ve been having a discussion in a comments thread of another post with a reader who does not understand why feminists treat male violence against women differently from female violence against men.
I have tried to explain the facts of harm – that women are disproportionately hurt and killed, and that our medical records, police records, child youth and family records, homicide records, court records all show this t0 be the case. Figures here.
But I want to leave the commenter with this list, compiled from newspaper reports between 1995 and early 2007. These are women and children killed by the men in their lives they loved in in domestic violence incidents. While the Police don’t give these statistics lightly, they do report between 2000 and 2005, the equivalent figure for men killed by female partners was 3.
Rest in peace, all victims of violence.
Update: Wording above changed due to comment below from Stephanie Perkman.
1995
Cherie Hoyle (29 years)
Chay Grant
Robert Grant (4 years)
Stephanie Skidmore (20 years)
Leonie Newman (26 years)
Victoria Watson (8 months)
Charmaine Julian (42 years)
Veronica Takerei-Mahu (11months)
Sara Nixon (7 years)
1997
Andrea Brander (52 years)
Child, name not known
Child, name not known
Shae Hammond (17 months)
Anaru Te Wheke Donny Te Moananui Rogers (17 months)
Rosemary Roberts (27 years)
Pet Kum Kee (49 years)
Brittany Crothall (3 years)
Jamoure Chaney (10 months)
Casey Albury (17 years)
Karen Jacobs (26 years)
Moana King (34 years)
Stephanie Baker (26 years)
Andrea Torrey (28 years)
Wynell Lelievre (15 years)
Catriona Fettes (33 years)
Tishena Valentine Crosland (2 years)
Peti Taihuka Cherie Kokiri (12 years)
Marcus Te Hira Grey (2 months)
Kim Ihaka (22 years)
Deidre Williams (22 years)
1998
Alofa Fasavalu (38 years)
Liam Sullivan (3 months)
Baby boy, name not known
Angelina Edwards (25 years)
Nivek Dodunski (17 months)
Karen Stanley-Hunt (25 years)
Fiona Maulolo (31 years)
Shona Bruce (42 years)
Jaydon Perrin (10 months)
Jonelle Tarawera (19 months)
Bavinder Kaur (26 years)
Lauren Runciman (19 years)
Margaret Bennellick (44 years)
Patricia Paniani (33 years)
Kelly Rae McRoberts (6 years)
Lisa Hurrell (21 years)
Lucy Carter (7 years)
Thomas Carter (4 years)
Holly Carter (3 years)
Pirimai Simmonds (17 months)
Jennifer Federici (27 years)
Lisa Hope (8 years)
1999
Marama Tamati (19 years)
James Whakaruru (4 years)
Simon Tokona (18 months)
Winiata Tokona (3 years)
Roimata Wehi (25 years)
Mereana Edmonds (6 years)
Angela Han
Nicholas Han (4 years)
Christina Han (2 years)
Joanne Van Duyvenbooden (32 years)
River Michael Manawatu-Wright (9 months)
Israel Aporo (3 years)
Jillian Thomas (45 years)
Elizabeth Douglas (51 years)
Keziah Te Huia Smith (11 months)
2000
Annette Bouwer (47 years)
Tangaroa Matiu (3 years)
Alice Perkins (8 years)
Maria Perkins (6 years)
Kamphet Vong Phak Dy (50 years)
Jian Huang (35 years)
Jiang Su
Alison Aris (32 years)
Te Miringa Tipene
Lilybing Hinewaoriki Karaitiana-Matiaha (23 months)
Natasha Tana-Bind (24 years)
Cherie Perkin (23 months)
Baby boy, name unknown (11 months)
Matekino Taylor (25 years)
Christine Lundy (38 years)
Amber Grace Lundy (7 years)
Florence Simpson (82 years)
Liotta Leuta (5 years)
Eliza May Te Hiko (45 years)
Margaret Waterhouse (42 years)
2001
Tracey Patmore (34 years)
Daniel Marshall Loveridge (13 months)
Lauren Shepherd (21 years)
Thomas Lance Darshay Schuman (2 years)
Levi Wright (10 months)
Caleb Moorhead (6 months)
Dominique Hingston (6 years)
Nikita Hingston (5 years)
Ryco Lance Mauri (10 months)
Patricia Burton (49 years)
Helen Wickliffe (22 years)
Te Pare (Polly) Te Kahu (39 years)
Chanel Lambert (21 years)
Karen Nant (16 years)
Janice Kenrick (40 years)
Pamela Hesketh (64 years)
Helen Johns (43 years)
Saliel Aplin (12 years)
Olympia Jetson (11 years)
Wathanak Tea (37 years)
Jaelyn Ariki Ngatai Maxwell (6 years)
2002
Wendy Heaysman (56 years)
Langaola Ahau (23 years)
Tamati Pokaia (3 years)
Barbara Miller (17 years)
Kalin St Michael (2 years)
Brodie Gordon (9 weeks)
Shontelle Marks (4 months)
Kelly Paula Gush (12 years)
Hasnah Hamer (38 years)
Dawn Parrish (65 years)
Coral-Ellen Burrows (6 years)
Cheyanne Rongonui (18 years)
Zhi Ping Yu (22 years)
Weng Di Dai (10 years)
Edwina Graham (30 years)
Jessica Pardoe
Iris Kathleen Davidson (23 months)
2003
Jia Ye (20 years)
Girl, name not known (11 years)
Boy, name not known (6 years)
Bin Lin (Ruby)
Anahera Ross Lewis (3 years)
Randwick Aholelei (3 months)
Caleb Tribble (4 months)
Donna Hewlett (39 years)
Seau Luana Ate (51 years)
Gulshad Hussein (23 years)
Lorraine Royal (43 years)
Lisa Blackmore (27 years)
Rocky Wano (15 years)
2004
Ordette Lloyd-Rangiuia (45 years)
Gabriel Harrison-Taylor (8 months)
Asolelei Samuelu (32 years)
Child, name not known
Child, name not known
Raiden Niania(4 months)
Wendy Mercer (34 years)
Will Mercer (6 months)
Pamela Lotze (48 years)
Baby, name not known (4 months)
Te Hau Te Horo O’Carroll (10 years)
Ngamata O’Carroll (2 years)
Molly Rose McRae (6 years)
Cheryl Pareanga (33 years)
Baby girl, name unknown (7 months)
Cameron Fielding (10 years)
Kathleen Harris (7 months)
Krystal Fielding (8 years)
Mereana Clemments-Matete (14 months)
2005
Denise Holmes (27 years)
Baby boy, name unknown (6 days)
Sarah Rebekah Haddock-Woodcock (3 months)
Chitralekha Ramakrishnan (32 years)
Woman, name not known (36 years)
Susanna Brown (33 years)
Hannoraugh Johansen (94 years)
Nicola Hackell (36 years)
Britney Angelique Abbott (9 years)
Eileen Te Oki Puke
Aaliya Morrissey (2 years)
Nancy Peterson (Xiukun Feng) (54 years)
Rosemary Harry (33 years)
Shunlian Huang (24 years)
Christine Hindson (45 years)
Catherine Carter (45 years)
Thelma Thompson (26 years)
Woman, name not known (20 years)
Deborah Rerekura (39 years)
Moana Kapua (29 years)
Samantha Mahara-Rangiawha (34 years)
Teresa Kohu (27 years)
Karen Oakes (28 years)
2006
Ruth Peoples (35 years)
Ngatikaura Ngati (3 years)
Staranise Waru (7 months)
Woman, name not known (34 years)
Arwen Fletcher (2 years)
Suzanne McSweeney (50 years)
Baby girl, name not known (14 months)
Boy, name not known (3 years)
Woman, name not known (22 years)
Mairina Dunn (17 years)
Ariana Burgess (24 years)
Veralyn Koia (41 years)
Lesa Pakau (33 years)
Denise Brame (41 years)
Chris Kahui (3 months)
Cru Kahui (3 months)
Maureen Matete-Walker (36 years)
Alyssa Patricia Little-Murphy (7 months)
Aiden Whitfield (15 years)
Alex McRae (2 years)
Baby girl, name not known (newborn)
Woman, name not known (46 years)
Reipai Joanne Dobson (19 years)
2007
Shirley Anne Keith (62 years)
Denise Simeon (52 years)
Angela Teresa Dean (55 years)
Misook Kim (42 years)
Baby girl, name not known (18 months)
Babt girl, name not known (newborn)
Woman , name not known (35 years)
Rosslene White (35 years)
LudditeJourno 
this is a really powerful representation of the issue. thank you for this.
wow, this really hits it home, doesn’t it.
People, in general, even those in political offices of power, just don’t ‘get’ the differences. In a recent rally in my city held to honour the 3 victims of domestic homicide, the politician who made a speech, started with, “We need to eradicate violence of any sort, violence on the streets as well as violence within our homes.” It’s statements such as this that invalidate the imbalance between the gendered victims of violence that happens in what is supposed to be the safety of our homes by those that declare love for their victims. That politician didn’t ‘get’ it. Violence which happens on the streets is an entirely different dynamic and starts for different reasons.
1995
Cherie Hoyle (29 years)
Stephanie Skidmore (20 years)
Leonie Newman (26 years)
Charmaine Julian (42 years)
1997
Andrea Brander (52 years)
Rosemary Roberts (27 years)
Pet Kum Kee (49 years)
Karen Jacobs (26 years)
Moana King (34 years)
Stephanie Baker (26 years)
Andrea Torrey (28 years)
Catriona Fettes (33 years)
Kim Ihaka (22 years)
Deidre Williams (22 years)
1998
Alofa Fasavalu (38 years)
Angelina Edwards (25 years)
Karen Stanley-Hunt (25 years)
Fiona Maulolo (31 years)
Shona Bruce (42 years)
Bavinder Kaur (26 years)
Lauren Runciman (19 years)
Margaret Bennellick (44 years)
Patricia Paniani (33 years)
Lisa Hurrell (21 years)
Jennifer Federici (27 years)
1999
Marama Tamati (19 years)
Roimata Wehi (25 years)
Joanne Van Duyvenbooden (32 years)
Jillian Thomas (45 years)
Elizabeth Douglas (51 years)
2000
Annette Bouwer (47 years)
Kamphet Vong Phak Dy (50 years)
Jian Huang (35 years)
Alison Aris (32 years)
Natasha Tana-Bind (24 years)
Matekino Taylor (25 years)
Christine Lundy (38 years)
Eliza May Te Hiko (45 years)
Margaret Waterhouse (42 years)
2001
Tracey Patmore (34 years)
Lauren Shepherd (21 years)
Patricia Burton (49 years)
Helen Wickliffe (22 years)
Te Pare (Polly) Te Kahu (39 years)
Chanel Lambert (21 years)
Janice Kenrick (40 years)
Pamela Hesketh (64 years)
Helen Johns (43 years)
Wathanak Tea (37 years)
2002
Wendy Heaysman (56 years)
Langaola Ahau (23 years)
Barbara Miller (17 years)
Hasnah Hamer (38 years)
Dawn Parrish (65 years)
Cheyanne Rongonui (18 years)
Zhi Ping Yu (22 years)
Edwina Graham (30 years)
2003
Jia Ye (20 years)
Donna Hewlett (39 years)
Seau Luana Ate (51 years)
Gulshad Hussein (23 years)
Lorraine Royal (43 years)
Lisa Blackmore (27 years)
2004
Ordette Lloyd-Rangiuia (45 years)
Asolelei Samuelu (32 years)
Raiden Niania(4 months)
Wendy Mercer (34 years)
Pamela Lotze (48 years)
Cheryl Pareanga (33 years)
2005
Denise Holmes (27 years)
Chitralekha Ramakrishnan (32 years)
Woman, name not known (36 years)
Susanna Brown (33 years)
Hannoraugh Johansen (94 years)
Nicola Hackell (36 years)
Nancy Peterson (Xiukun Feng) (54 years)
Rosemary Harry (33 years)
Shunlian Huang (24 years)
Christine Hindson (45 years)
Catherine Carter (45 years)
Thelma Thompson (26 years)
Woman, name not known (20 years)
Deborah Rerekura (39 years)
Moana Kapua (29 years)
Samantha Mahara-Rangiawha (34 years)
Teresa Kohu (27 years)
Karen Oakes (28 years)
2006
Ruth Peoples (35 years)
Woman, name not known (34 years)
Suzanne McSweeney (50 years)
Ariana Burgess (24 years)
Veralyn Koia (41 years)
Lesa Pakau (33 years)
Denise Brame (41 years)
Maureen Matete-Walker (36 years)
Aiden Whitfield (15 years)
Woman, name not known (46 years)
Reipai Joanne Dobson (19 years)
2007
Shirley Anne Keith (62 years)
Denise Simeon (52 years)
Angela Teresa Dean (55 years)
Misook Kim (42 years)
Woman , name not known (35 years)
Rosslene White (35 years)
I agree, “Rest in Peace”
I took all the children’s names off the list because women are killing young children more than men are. I suppose I can find all the names if I wanted, but much of what the children’s hospital wants is no deaths from either parents, step dads, step mums and other relatives whether biological or not.
………
But still it is sad to see this amount of women being killed in DV.
I wonder if we had a law “Woman beats man” as we do “Man beats woman” we would get some worthwhile statistics for men?
Some say, women’s refuges are really just taking care of men by removing the woman. They don’t change the woman but they give men a breather.
I think personally if you wanted to save the women, you would have a refuge for the men. In fact, even though I am against the white ribbon campaign because it encourages men to be violent (much like the white feather that was given to men by women who did not want to go to war), I think men should take control of fighting violence. After all, they are the greater victims of violence and death of violence.
Soooo,
I am still unconvinced that an extremely tiny list of victims (out of the whole country of 4 million) should conclude every man to be treated as perpetrators.
Hey Mareika,
nope, afraid you’re not right about children being more often killed by women – even though we are more often responsible for raising children, spend more time with them on average, etc.
A review of all child homicides from 1991 to 2000 showed that when parents killed, it was fathers 54% of the time, and mothers 40%. When children were killed by a non-parent, 78% of their killers were men.
I just had a read over at ifeminists.com of an interesting article by Carey Roberts. You can read it here:
http://tinyurl.com/cxm2pu . She also links to a study done in 2006 which is also very interesting. Here is one particularly interesting paragraph from the study (which you can read here: http://tinyurl.com/bwbcxa
Partner violence was reported by 21.45% of couples, with male-to-female violence in 13.66% and female-to-male violence in 18.20% of couples. Severe partner violence was reported by 8.64% of couples, with severe male-to-female partner violence in 3.63% of couples and severe female-to-male partner violence in 7.52% of couples.
Note that in the situation of reported ‘severe’ partner violence, the rate of female on male violence is double that of male to female violence. Who knows what the real percentages are, considering men are far more reluctant to report violence than are women. So it seems that even though partner violence is committed as a higher percentage by women than men, attention is still focused primarily on (heterosexual) female victims only. Why is that? Why isn’t the attention focused on DV victims, regardless of gender or sexual preference?
What a powerful post. Thanks, LudditeJourno.
Julie, granted, the stats in the study are as you outline. However, I take them with a grain of salt for the following reasons:
(1) The study doesn’t distinguish between a person using violence systematically to control hir partner and a person lashing out at hir partner. I agree that both are bad, but they potentially have different effects, and I’d love to know what the breakdown is.
(2) Look at the acts reported and the gender breakdown (page 4). eg “threw something” – there’s an enormous range of violence encompassed in that. Ditto “hit or tried to hit with something”.
(3) Also, although I think you’re right that men are, generally, more reluctant to report violence than women are, I’m not so sure that the same dynamic would apply in a study like this. For example, if you were systematically abused by your partner, and you were being interviewed at your home, while your partner was also home (albeit in another room), it might affect your willingness to tell the whole truth. Plus, although all the interviews they used were of hetero couples, in 57%, the main respondent was a man. That potentially skews the data, too. Finally, the methodology section notes that interviews were assessed for quality based on, among other things, whether or not the partner interrupted – but does not indicate what they *did* with the quality assessment.
Even having said that: I’d actually be willing to assume, for the sake of argument if nothing else, that women commit (relatively minor) acts of violence against men more often than the other way around, partly because of the success of anti-domestic violence campaigning (eg maybe men are more likely to stop a reactive act of violence because they’re afraid of being labelled “an abuser”, and maybe women don’t have that fear). And I fully agree we should be targeting domestic violence by whomever against whomever.
But that still doesn’t change the fact that significantly more women are killed by partners than men are. (And the fact that many women are killed when they’re trying to leave suggests that men are also more likely to be committing violence of the controlling kind than women are – since leaving is the essentially the act of getting away from that control.)
I guess people have their reasons for discrimination.
Sad, really.
But what can you do?
I think men overall are treated a lot worse than women but then you will probably come up with the reasoning, “This doesn’t matter either for men do it to men more than women do it to men.” Oh, sorry, it matters when it is done to gays. My apology for you do care for some men. And then you might reason away a Maori man for beating up a white man. But…
On day, we will abhor all violence but until that day we continue to discriminate while pretending we don’t because we learn to reason our discrimination. Tsk, tsk.
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You obviously have not researched your information very well. The 3 children Alice, Maria and Cherie Perkin mentioned in your above list were actually killed by their mother Rosemary Perkin in 2000. It is offensive to the Perkin family, primarily the father Patrick, whose life was shattered by this event, to include those children on this list. Get your facts straight and remove those names from this list, because you add no credibility to your cause when you post spurious information on your website.
Stephanie Perkin.
Hi Stephanie, thanks for the correct information and apologies to Patrick and yourself. I am unable to remove the names from the list as it comes from a report which they feature in.
LJ
hello…my mums on here 😦 😦 😦 roimata wehi ❤