It’s time for some honesty out here. I have political aspirations that I’m revealing for the first time in this press release:
To ensure a little accountability out there, I’ve decided to release my 10 policy commandments for Aotearoa with plenty of time for voters to mull them over.
- The invention of an ‘Empathiser’ to end social inequality.
The ‘Empathiser’ will allow users to fully feel how others do.
It will make racism, violence, discrimination and exploitation impossible – how can you rape someone when you know how it will feel? How can you be a CEO over a profit-making company which pays workers too little to live on? How can you turn away asylum seekers fleeing horror?
- Every Monday designated a day of celebration of science fiction.
I’m prepared to allow some flexibility in my definition of science fiction/fantasy. This should change Mondays from a day of dread to a day of joyful planning of whether to watch/read Lord of the Rings or X-Men (well, actually, of course after the use of the Empathiser it’ll be X-People).
- Te Reo and English in all New Zealand schools
I am from a generation that incorrectly learnt te reo was dying, so I can’t speak the indigenous language of the country I call home. If we need a precedent for how we all could, let’s try all those European countries where children learn more than one language in school. Simple.
- The removal of guns from Aotearoa
According to the Peace Foundation, guns kill two people every week, and we currently have 11 times as many guns as the English, so let’s hold the world’s biggest arms amnesty.
With the Empathiser, shooting other people or living things will be impossible anyway.
- Real estate agents to be banned from Aotearoa
We’ve all got friends that sell houses – but is a profession which solely exists to increase prices of where we live good for people? Don’t we all need somewhere dry, safe, warm to live?
- Free healthcare and education
I’m going to pay for this with the money saved from getting rid of the Police force (we don’t need it with the Empathiser removing crime), and with more equitable distribution of wealth (ditto end of capitalism, Empathiser again :-).
- 25 hour working week
So we can all work if we want to – unemployment a thing of the past – and so we can all play – sport, board games, hackey sack. We don’t play enough at the moment, and it shows.
- Cycle lanes to replace roads
There will still be cars, but not a near global record of 1 every 1.3 adults. There will be beautiful bikes on cycle lanes by the sea and in the bush. It will take a little longer to go places, but we won’t care because we’ll be working less and playing more. And we’ll all have great legs 😉
- Friday a day of rest
With nothing much for sale, we’ll all be hanging out cooking great food and eating with our neighbours, who we’ll all know because we’re not in such a rush all the time. There will be dancing and all our children will have time with a range of adults, not just their parents.
- My retirement
…will take place immediately all these things are in place. I’ve read my George Orwell, I know what a risk it might be if I start to enjoy my absolute power too much…
All votes gratefully received, before I disband the voting system entirely.