Today I have joined the 21st century. Become the last but one of my friends to succumb to the joys of mobile phone communication.
Yep, having enduring a bollocking from Dave Lee which would have felled a lesser woman, I have given in to his idea that journos need to be available 24/7.
If I sound bitter, it’s because I am. I hate mobile phones. They have changed the way people meet – no one meets at a time and place anymore, we all loosely wait around to be texted by our friends so we can go meet them somewhere else.
They have changed the way people behave. I have, at best, maybe two friends who never use their mobile phones when I hang out with them. Because they are hanging out with me. All my other friends seem to think I like talking and spending time with them…and all their other friends who they text intermittently while we’re together. Kinda like a threesome, but without the possible pleasantness.
And, yep, like the Luddite I am, they have changed our language. I hate having to try and figure out what an array of numbers and consonants mean, because it’s written in text speak. I hate it. Why are we so keen to remove words? I love words.
But mostly, I just know in twenty years times scientists will discover – just like with smoking tobacco – that we should not be exposed to substances which are harmful (for nicotine read radiation). Everyone who has had a mobile phone will be reduced to radiation ravaged monosyllabic idiots.
Don’t laugh. It could happen. And until today, I would have been fine. Now my brain is beginning the process of being mobilised, I may still be laughing, just without full motor control.